My grandparents were leaders in a very large church. But my immediate family didn't go to church much. My dad was an alcoholic and the members of my immediate family made fun of people who went to church. But there were times I was drawn there. When I did go, I heard how my dad was a bad man and was going to hell. It was confusing. I had heard that God was loving, but I also was being told God was sending my dad to hell.

As I grew up, the little teaching I had about God didn't make a difference in my life. I started to drink, to be promiscuous. I felt worthless.

My parents told me that my best option was to find a man to take care of me, so I married when I was young. My husband was very abusive to me and we divorced. Then, I started dating an alcoholic. We married and had a child, but that marriage didn't last long either. We divorced and I moved to Florida. There, a custody battle began that dragged on for more than six years. I won some of the court cases and lost others.

TRYING TO REACH GOD

Throughout all the turmoil, I did turn to God at times. When I was in danger, I prayed that He would protect me. When I was in court, I prayed God would grant my wishes. Still, I felt like He was untouchable—that He was out there somewhere, but not within reach.

After two marriages, three children, and two divorces, I moved back to my hometown of Kansas City. There, I ran into an old friend. She invited me to an After 5 dinner. I had a good time. I went back the next month, then the next. I was amazed at the speakers who said that Jesus Christ had set them free and good things were happening to them. He seemed so real to them. At the third After 5 dinner I attended, the speaker got my attention. She talked about Jesus Christ and said that even though people do bad things, He still loves them.

Though there were many people in the room, it seemed she was specifically talking about me. I knew I had not lived the way God wanted me to live. The speaker said Jesus loved me anyway. He died on the cross and rose again to set me free from the power of sin and to offer me forgiveness and hope. Then, the speaker gave me permission to accept the love of Jesus.

I bowed my head with her to pray.

I asked Jesus Christ to forgive me. I gave my life to Him. I had never done that before. I had prayed prayers and, at one time, done things the church required of me, but I never turned my life over to Him. I had never trusted Him to care for me, to watch over me, to continue to love me, to direct my every day, yes, even to save me from the life I was living.

A NEW RELATIONSHIP

Jesus wanted more of a relationship with me than to meet me in heaven someday. He wanted to bless my life now, today. But I learned He wasn't going to force His way into my life. He wanted me to yield control of my life to Him. I did.

After that day, things began to change in my life. God began to remove bad influences in my life. Fast. Every time I thought about God, He allowed me to feel emotions I hadn't allowed myself to feel for years--such as love. I was afraid to love before--Jesus showed me how. I am free to love other people without fear.

I had been convinced that I had to drink to be able to socialize, but I've learned that I can still be the life of the party without being drunk. It's amazing to be free from alcohol.

Now, I have a loving family and a husband who truly loves me. Because of what Jesus has done in my life, I am able to love my husband with a total, complete love. Our family Bible is kept on the coffee table, where it is easy to reach and be explored. I can't get enough of God's Word. It is so rich and full of life-giving words.

God did all this for me when I was running from Him. He pursued me even when I wasn't interested in Him. Now, He has turned my life around—He has given me hope for the future and for my family. God has made a way for me to go to heaven and spend eternity with Him.

GOD IS PURSUING YOU

God is pursuing you. His Word, the Bible, says that God loved us so much He sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. The Bible says that God loved us before we even knew about Him.

"This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (1 John 4:10, NLT).

Do you want to respond to God's pursuit of you? Why not tell Him so right now?

"Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for pursuing me. Thank You for making a way to spend each day, and eternity, with You. Right now, I want to stop running from You. I realize I am a sinner and I need Your love and forgiveness through Your Son, Jesus Christ. I invite Him into my life as my Savior and my Lord. Thank You for Your love and Your forgiveness. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen."

If you prayed this prayer today let us know by filling out our Response Form. If you would like to know more about Stonecroft Groups near you, visit our Locating a Group page.

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